You are the president of the National Society to Combat Gravity and today is Gravity Awareness Day. Explain to the public why gravity is a serious risk to life as we know it and what the average citizen can do to help fight the terrible effects of gravity.
{ 0 comments }
I think I’ve got a brilliant mind because it never seems to stop thinking.
I’ve always got things running through my head, whether it’s inane, ridiculous thoughts or introspective ideas seeking the basis for things I do.
I’ve always thought this and I haven’t had much luck finding people that ‘play’ as many games as I do during my day-to-day life just to keep their brain busy.
I constantly count things around me, keep track of the most menial things, make bets against myself on things I can hardly control.
Sometimes it’s tiring, but life is damn interesting in this brain, let me tell ya.
Jay, central California, USA
{ 0 comments }
Starting out, math always seems like fun and games. “Just try it. If you don’t like it you can quit.” But math abuse has dangerous consequences:
“I got my hands on some extreme Goldbach, and G was hard to find at any price. Anyhow, I crashed the car into a tree, too zoned out to even know or care. That’s how mom found out I wasn’t the sweet and innocent little girl she thought I was.” – Jenny M. – (rehab patient x 3) [editor's note, 'G' refers to Goldbach's conjecture: a dangerously powerful imported math]
“I run a computer store at the mall. You could always tell the math-heads. They wanted lots of RAM and storage, but they didn’t care about graphics cards or joysticks. I refused to sell any ‘hotshots’ [editor's note, hotshots are slang for pirated Algol scripts on CD], and if they asked, I kicked them out.” – Bennie R. (owner, Rocket Computers)
“He seemed so distant. Our love life was on the rocks and he didn’t seem to notice. I thought it might be another woman, until I found a treatise on topological morphism under the seat of his car. Things are better now, after the divorce, but I still worry about him.” – Marion R. (husband’s whereabouts unknown)
“We went to Amsterdam for her aunt’s wedding. That stuff is legal over there. She must have made some sort of connection, because she spent her days doing math with a guy on the Internet. The only thing I can do is keep hoping. Hoping the therapy takes this time. I can’t trust her. (weeps)” – Name witheld by request.
Doctor (not medical, but as he says, “…perfectly legitimate.” ) Jay Martin treats math addicts with controversial intervention techniques of his own design.
Q: Is math addiction treatable? And if so, how?
A: I use the A&W method. It’s harsh, but the idea is to get them out of the clouds, get them grounded as soon as possible and get them in touch with a larger reality.
Q: A&W?
A: Yes. Cheap beer and prostitutes. Well, it came to be called alcohol and whores- A&W.
Q: And you confine your patients in a motel room for the course of the treatment?
A: I get legal documents. Power of attorney and so on. I haven’t yet been successfully prosecuted in this state.
Q: I see. And what is your success rate?
A: It’s a tough business, success rates aren’t really a good metric. People pay me. That’s a good measurement.
{ 1 comment }
Optimism is a favorite of mine among the ism landscape. I believe that life will bring good things, that people are basically good, that – though things don’t necessarily happen for a reason, I believe there’s something good that can be taken from nearly every human event and condition.
Optimism has been shown to be highly correlated to longer, healthful life, deeper relationships, and happiness. It’s important. It’s useful. So much so to me that I’ve polled people about optimism and compiled their responses here on ismmania. I hope you enjoy the series, and encourage you to believe that good things are in store for you.
Read more about optimism here.
{ 0 comments }
I am optimistic about things changing in the long run, and the current crisis looming over us blowing over. I have firm faith that whatever economic problems existing in the economy, will blow over and not last long. We are facing severe problems presently, but patience and persistence will help us overcome them, and tide over the problem. Our life has ups and downs, so we should try to be cool and happy during this disturbing times too.
{ 0 comments }
Right now, in the midst of all the troubling issues facing us here in the US and throughout the world, I am optimistic about our future with President-Elect Obama. I think he is the right man for our times. Besides his obvious intelligence and charm, he is a very clam presence. I fell that I can trust him to do the right thing to improve our qulaity of life. I don’t think he will have an easy task, and I don’t think he will find a quick fix. But, I do believe he will lead us to a better future and improved relationships with the other countries in the world.
{ 0 comments }
I am optimistic about many things! First off, I am a mother of two, who has recently gone back to school to pursue my dreams of becoming a teacher. I am very optimistic about the day that I will finish school and be able to work in my dream job. I am also very pleased with the new low gas prices! Anyone who isn’t has to be crazy!
{ 0 comments }
Think about it, really. What can you be grateful for? Sure, there are always things we may not particularly enjoy in life, but there are so many things we have that can’t be bought in this day and age. Can you walk? Can you move your arms? Do you have fingers? Do you have eyes to see the world around you and ears to hear any music you desire? This is something that constantly helps me, even during these days of economic fear. Yes, my hubbie’s boss laid off 3 workers, but not him. Yes, we’re low on extra cash, but do we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, clothes to wear at the moment? Do you have the freedom to choose your TV shows, movies, travel, and worship in any way you please in this country? Thankfully, the answer is yes! Look on the bright side for all that you have – family, children, friends! Have a great time in your life with what you have! 
{ 0 comments }
I’ve always been and always will be an optimist. There’s nothing I detest more than a negative person. The energy that’s wasted being negative could be used for so much more. If you look hard enough, no matter the situation you can find a positive outcome.
[ad#in-page]
I wake up in the morning, tell myself it’s gonna be a great day and most of the time it is. I’ve been blessed by being born in the greatest nation in the world and that alone gives me my optimism for each day I live. All I have to do is turn on the news and I am ashamed of myself for any negative or “poor pitiful me” thought I have. I try not to surround myself with negative people, but that’s impossible. When I encounter them, I try to take charge of the situation, not by being a dictator, but by charm.
I love living, which was a free gift from God, and don’t understand why others want allow themselves to enjoy it also.
– Susan from Atlanta
{ 0 comments }
Possibilities make me optimistic. We are at a point where there are so many possibilities! We just elected our first african american president! People are worried about whether he’ll be a good president or a terrible one, but either way just the fact that he can become president should inspire us! Anyone can do anything! I don’t have a job right now but there are jobs out there and I’ll find one. How do I know? Because this too shall pass. That’s what my Grandma used to say and I believe it, and until it does pass I will have fun with what I have and be happy that my loved one’s and myself are safe and sound. Besides, I’m in love. What could make you more optimistic than the possibilities you feel when you’re in love?
{ 0 comments }
You are hired as a speech writer for the President of the United States. Your first assignment is to write a paragraph affirming the President’s commitment to public education. Before you can put pen to paper, however, an aide pulls you aside and lets you in on a little secret: the President can’t read any words that are longer than one syllable. What do you write?
{ 0 comments }
Parents, are you sick of hearing how children are scarred for life by bad potty training? Now it’s your turn to speak up. Talk about how potty training your child has scarred *you* for life. Do you flinch at the sound of running water? Does the toilet flushing send you spiraling into flashbacks? Do you have to bite your tongue to avoid reminding your seventeen year old son to “go number one” before you let him get in the car? This is a safe space, so let it all out!
{ 0 comments }
You’ve inherited a parrot whose previous owner was deaf and mute. It will be up to you to teach your new friend his first words, but your heart isn’t in it because your sweetie says you’re lazy and bad in bed and that this isn’t working out. You come upon the idea that the parrot’s first words might be your saving grace. What are the first ten words or phrases you want your parrot to learn?
{ 1 comment }
Penguins are poised to take over the world. They have the ants and the rats on their side. We need to recruit animals to our side quickly if we want to stop their evil plot. As the leader of the human resistance, which animals would you work on recruiting and what would you have them do?
{ 0 comments }
The ATM industry has contacted you to help them with a sticky public relations issue. It’s been brought to their attention that they’ve manufactured several drive-up ATMs with Braille on them. Since blind people typically do not drive, this makes the manufacturers look rather silly. What kind of statement would you release on their behalf?
{ 0 comments }
Sometimes irrational fears can come in handy. Imagine getting out of taking Rover for a walk in the rain due to the sudden and devastating onset of cynophobia (fear of dogs). Or perhaps you sleep in on Sundays because you have a bad case of theophobia (fear of religion). Now choose your favorite phobia and describe its benefits.
{ 0 comments }
You’re walking along the sidewalk and minding your own business when a reporter sticks a microphone in your face and says, “Quick, what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard a parent say to their kid?” How do you answer?
{ 0 comments }
You duck into the bathroom just before closing time at the mall. When you come out, you discover that the mall has closed early and you’re locked in for the night. While looking for a way out, you find an unlocked service hallway that surprisingly gives you employee access to the most expensive jewelry store in the city, but you still can’t get out. Being a “glass is half full” kind of person with a warped sense of humor, you decide to spend your imprisonment doing something that will really mess with the jewelry employees’ heads when they come into work the next day. What do you do?
{ 0 comments }
You have been caught in the middle of a skirmish between a band of scurvy pirates and a gang of ruthless, stealthy ninjas. They have decided to settle their disagreement by “letting” you select the winners. Unfortunately, the losers will probably make you walk the plan or throw a death star into your throat. What do you say to get out of the situation alive?
{ 0 comments }
