Environmentalism, or Environmental– schism?

The Earth: A living planet

Mother Earth is worried.

The small minority of Her children who care deeply about Her are warring. The noble plans of one group vie with the dreams and visions of another. It is no longer us against them, rather, it has become us against us. Schism arises.

This makes Mother Earth sad.
She is sad because this one precious opportunity to act decisively on Her behalf is passing by. The chance will be missed because of petty sibling rivalry. Can you hear Her weeping?

“From the brink of enlightenment to the brink of extinction.” - Mother Earth, as told to Swami Gupta Ravashani [translated from the original Hindi]

We need to heal the rift, return to our roots, and get back to thinking and acting locally.

Act HERE, act NOW.

The battle of the slogans continues: We can’t drill our way out of this. Verses- Drill here, drill now; screw the grandkids. And, Carbon kills. Fights- Carbon, It’s what’s for dinner.

Madness.

“Do stuff. Tell others.” - Mother Earth, as told to Mary Petals, from her book, Petals Unfolding, Harper Collins, 2002.

“Spirituality is the difference between Earth and mere dirt.”- Mohandas Gandhi [translated from the original British]

Practical Steps You Can Take

Calculate
Your Life Print

Conserve, Reuse, Recycle Your TP!

Toilet Tissue- reuse, recycle,
rejoice! A resource Guide

Diagram courtesy Jennifer Beal from her book, No More Waste. Used with permission.

How to reduce your LP

Just reducing the factors in the LP formula can radically lower your overall Life Print.

• Reduce your food consumption

• Increase your excretions

• Shrink your carbon footprint

• Lower your BMI (weight loss
  or amputation)

• Die sooner

*******************************************

Remember!

SEX
CAN MAKE BABIES!!!

More resources to heal the schism:

• Raising Insects for Food-
  Michael Robinson’s cutting edge work that combines a thorough knowledge of entymology with a genuine desire to live off the Big Corporate Agriculture grid.

• No More Waste-
  Jennifer Beal gives useful methods for unique recycling projects, includes the now famous chapter on how to recover thread from old clothing and a new chapter in the second edition on mud sculpting.

• Life Reeks-
  Mineral supplements and common nutrients found in soil. Return to a time when dirt was an essential ingredient in meal preparation.

• Found Meat-
  Jason Brooks discusses how road-kill and other ‘found meats’ can bridge the morality gap between vegans and carnivores.

• Air Me Up!-
  The latest book from Swami Gupta Ravashani that leads you step by step through hydroponic algae cultivation for recycling your own exhalations in the home. Comes with free dream-catcher that
  incorporates the Swami’s own hair.

• Recycle Yourself-
  This controversial book advocates total body donation and the morality of permissive cannibalism. Excellent historical resource for those interested in the Donner Party and other extreme survival situations. Includes the section: Kuru, Causes and Cures.

• One World, One Race-
  Somewhat dated but still an excellent read, Marsha Montgomery tells her true biographical adventures in her quest to breed with every racial group on the planet. Enjoy her exploits with the Inuit, Mongolian, and Pygmy peoples as well as a dozen others. Hilarity ensues when Marsha attempts to explain her mission and intent without knowing a word of the native tongue. Marsha is missed by all in the environmental community.

Material in this page written and conceived by William Morrison, freelance writer for hire.

Starting out, math always seems like fun and games. “Just try it. If you don’t like it you can quit.” But math abuse has dangerous consequences:

• Math damages the brain’s social communication cortex.
• Math causes failing eyesight, hair loss, and metabolic changes- both corpulence and cachexia are associated.
• Math addiction destroys relationships through loss of libido, isolationism and anti-social behavior.
• Math addiction has been fatal in 100% of lifetime users.

The Faces of Math

The facts:

• By the time they reach the tenth grade, half of US teens have tried math themselves. Fully 75% know someone who does math at least once a week.



• “Sure I tried a little trig in High School, everyone was doing it. It wasn’t until college that I really got hooked on the hard stuff.” - Mary H. (recovering math addict)
• In most US colleges, math is freely available to those who seek it out.
• “I ran a math lab out of my dad’s garage. I wouldn’t have gotten busted except I let math junkies hang around and the neighbors complained.” - Charles B. (8 years, Jackson State Prison)
• Highly-addicted math-using teens are known to seek out ‘math bowls’, where they compete to see who can use the most math. Math-addicted adults are known to video tape these occasions and upload them so other adult users can take pleasure from this deplorable debacle.

“I got my hands on some extreme Goldbach, and G was hard to find at any price. Anyhow, I crashed the car into a tree, too zoned out to even know or care. That’s how mom found out I wasn’t the sweet and innocent little girl she thought I was.” - Jenny M. - (rehab patient x 3) [editor's note, 'G' refers to Goldbach's conjecture: a dangerously powerful imported math]

Tell-Tale Signs Your Kid is on Math

The 7 warning signs of math addiction in young people

• Shakes uncontrollably in the presence of the opposite sex.
• Sequesters him/herself for long periods, alone, ’studying’.
• Has multiple library cards and deletes browsing history on home computer.
• Keeps a stash (often under a mattress) of homework.
• Seems distracted and avoids social functions.
• Doesn’t seem to enjoy outdoor activities.
• Refuses to watch sports on TV.

“I run a computer store at the mall. You could always tell the math-heads. They wanted lots of RAM and storage, but they didn’t care about graphics cards or joysticks. I refused to sell any ‘hotshots’ [editor's note, hotshots are slang for pirated Algol scripts on CD], and if they asked, I kicked them out.” - Bennie R. (owner, Rocket Computers)

Is Your Spouse on Math?

“He seemed so distant. Our love life was on the rocks and he didn’t seem to notice. I thought it might be another woman, until I found a treatise on topological morphism under the seat of his car. Things are better now, after the divorce, but I still worry about him.” - Marion R. (husband’s whereabouts unknown)

“We went to Amsterdam for her aunt’s wedding. That stuff is legal over there. She must have made some sort of connection, because she spent her days doing math with a guy on the Internet. The only thing I can do is keep hoping. Hoping the therapy takes this time. I can’t trust her. (weeps)” - Name witheld by request.

Treatment Options

Q & A with a Holistic Math Therapist

Doctor (not medical, but as he says, “…perfectly legitimate.” ) Jay Martin treats math addicts with controversial intervention techniques of his own design.

Q: Is math addiction treatable? And if so, how?

A: I use the A&W method. It’s harsh, but the idea is to get them out of the clouds, get them grounded as soon as possible and get them in touch with a larger reality.

Q: A&W?

A: Yes. Cheap beer and prostitutes. Well, it came to be called alcohol and whores- A&W.

Q: And you confine your patients in a motel room for the course of the treatment?

A: I get legal documents. Power of attorney and so on. I haven’t yet been successfully prosecuted in this state.

Q: I see. And what is your success rate?

A: It’s a tough business, success rates aren’t really a good metric. People pay me. That’s a good measurement.

This Public Service Announcement brought to you and written by Bill Morrison - freelance writing professional and loving parent of math-addicted daughter, Pookie J, (pictured above)

If you have a math house in your neighborhood, report it below, and be sure to provide maximum details for the authorities. Or, share your math tragedies with our math addiction support group:

Mothers Against Math-Addicted Students, Brainiacs, or Youth (MAMASBOY)

Amateurism is funny just because it seems like it would have very little opportunity for use. Usually someone accuses another person of BEING an amateur, not of exhibiting amateuristic qualities or of displaying amateurism. It just seems funny that the word exists when there appears to be so little use for it.

Don’t get me started on bipedalism.

It’s bad enough to be caught fiddling with children once, but twice? Throw away the key I say.

Dogmatism has dogged civilization since the first dog was a puppy. Dogmatism is dog gone hard to overcome, no matter how dogged one is in trying. Dogmatism is not our best ideological friend.

I think I’ve got a brilliant mind because it never seems to stop thinking.

I’ve always got things running through my head, whether it’s inane, ridiculous thoughts or introspective ideas seeking the basis for things I do.

I’ve always thought this and I haven’t had much luck finding people that ‘play’ as many games as I do during my day-to-day life just to keep their brain busy.

I constantly count things around me, keep track of the most menial things, make bets against myself on things I can hardly control.

Sometimes it’s tiring, but life is damn interesting in this brain, let me tell ya.

Jay, central California, USA

Karen from Connecticut is getting wild and crazy with the Meism project:

Karen in CT: I graduated summa cum laude from my college!

Now, I must admit: your host I’M’ most decidedly DID NOT graduate summa cum laude from college. In fact, I was quite happy just to graduate!

I am Michael from Oklahoma.

Stretching forth my fingers, I touched the ground and for a moment held the entire world in the palm of my hand.

I am me, and if I wasn’t me and I saw me from across the room I would want to meet me. And once I had, would long to be me.

Ahhh - a true Meism!

Activism. It’s good to stand for something, better to do something. But, there is always that “one guy.” You know them. The Active Activist. This guy is the one with the paste colored Ford Pinto that is being held together with myriad bumper stickers of touchy topics of the day, old 60’s clichés and sun peeled smiley faces. You wonder: What are they supporting now, they must keep it in a Blackberry.

It is, indeed, good to stand for something, and better to do something. The people you’re speaking of think they’re doing good, and they probably do, in fact, do some good.

I think the point that they (and many of the rest of us) constantly miss is that it’s a whole lot easier to do a lot of good if you focus your attention to just one or two things.

But 1 or 2 things or 100, not being afraid to share what you think and backing it up with positive actions is the cornerstone of the American spirit.

Hey! I’m Sean and I live in Milledgeville Georgia, where the town is so flippin’ small, you can walk around it in less than an hour.

But I’m so smart, I’m writing a book about what it takes to be successful in Life!

Being here in this Ridiculously small town has taught me how to deal with people and life! I know everything there is to know about being successful! I’ll just force me religious views on you! But I’ll take all the credit!