Ban Home Improvement

You wake up on a beautiful Saturday morning to find your partner glaring down at you and brandishing a “honey do” list. You’ve run out of excuses for postponing all your home improvement projects…unless you can convince your sweetie that the outcome of your efforts will be dire. Pick a home improvement project and explain why completing it would be a terrible idea. Walls collapsing from the weight of a new roof? Tetanus from a nailed thumb? The end of life as we know it from who knows what? Be as convincing as you can. Your lazy Saturday depends on it.

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