Comments on: Stop Thief! http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/ Isms Philosophy, Satire & Inspiration Sat, 19 Mar 2011 16:04:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: sheena http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-140 sheena Sun, 09 Nov 2008 10:28:57 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-140 I live in a sorority and half the girls think they're pregnant and the other girls want to partake in the act that makes you pregnant and cheap wine helps. The rib eye steak is to feed my pet alligator and the vegetarian pizza I'm going to give to the homeless family that used to live down the street but now are living in their RV at the park. I live in a sorority and half the girls think they’re pregnant and the other girls want to partake in the act that makes you pregnant and cheap wine helps. The rib eye steak is to feed my pet alligator and the vegetarian pizza I’m going to give to the homeless family that used to live down the street but now are living in their RV at the park.

]]> By: Jeanie http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-139 Jeanie Sun, 09 Nov 2008 00:48:31 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-139 Well officers, I had been shopping with my husband and he happened to ask what the vegetarian pizza was for and I told him the guest that I had invited to dinner. He asked me if I thought I was pregnant when I picked up the test. I also told him that was for the guest. He said that he would be pulling guard duty for work that night for which I replied no he wasn't because his girlfriend was coming to dinner. I was just trying to see which way he went. Well officers, I had been shopping with my husband and he happened to ask what the vegetarian pizza was for and I told him the guest that I had invited to dinner. He asked me if I thought I was pregnant when I picked up the test. I also told him that was for the guest. He said that he would be pulling guard duty for work that night for which I replied no he wasn’t because his girlfriend was coming to dinner. I was just trying to see which way he went.

]]> By: KC http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-138 KC Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:27:14 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-138 The pregnancy test is for my girlfriend and if she isn't pregnant the wine and steak are for us to celebrate with. If she is pregnant the pizza is for her, and the wine and steak is for her to serve to her new boyfriend because I will be on the run two states over with a fake name. The pregnancy test is for my girlfriend and if she isn’t pregnant the wine and steak are for us to celebrate with. If she is pregnant the pizza is for her, and the wine and steak is for her to serve to her new boyfriend because I will be on the run two states over with a fake name.

]]> By: Diane http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-137 Diane Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:44:43 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-137 This is part of my job interview as secretary for the Chief of Police who is outside waiting on his motorcycle. He needs the pregnancy test for the current secretary, the steak is for the black eye his wife will give him if it's positive, the pizza is his dinner tonight and the wine I'm supposed to give to you so keep your mouths shut. This is part of my job interview as secretary for the Chief of Police who is outside waiting on his motorcycle. He needs the pregnancy test for the current secretary, the steak is for the black eye his wife will give him if it’s positive, the pizza is his dinner tonight and the wine I’m supposed to give to you so keep your mouths shut.

]]> By: Iva http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-136 Iva Thu, 06 Nov 2008 18:27:37 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-136 Hormones, it's the answer to everything. With the morning sickness I never know what I can eat. The wine? Oh that's for my husband so I won't have to get a "headache" tonight. Hormones, it’s the answer to everything.

With the morning sickness I never know what I can eat. The wine? Oh that’s for my husband so I won’t have to get a “headache” tonight.

]]> By: Joanie http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-135 Joanie Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:37:10 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-135 Well, since I had a hysterectomy and my hubbie had a vasectomy, it would be downright silly to steal the pregnancy test. I just cooked steak last night, so that doesn't sound appetizing. The vegetarian pizza IMHO doesn't sound too appetizing, either, so I'd be caught red-handed with the bottle of cheap wine...a trip down memory lane to my high school days! :) Well, since I had a hysterectomy and my hubbie had a vasectomy, it would be downright silly to steal the pregnancy test. I just cooked steak last night, so that doesn’t sound appetizing. The vegetarian pizza IMHO doesn’t sound too appetizing, either, so I’d be caught red-handed with the bottle of cheap wine…a trip down memory lane to my high school days! :)

]]> By: Ryan http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-134 Ryan Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:01:57 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-134 You know, it may seem strange, but my wife and I are trying to conceive a child. So I had to get a test. And if we "fail" we are going to try again. But those things can't be forced, so I had to get some cheap wine to set the mood. And I'll be cooking dinner, of course. And that also poses a problem for me, because my wife is, well, she's schizophrenic. There are days where she absolutely loves steak, and others where she won't even dream of eating some poor defenseless animal. Look, I know you probably don't believe me. I admit, it's a complex tale, and I'm fairly ashamed of it. That's why I stole the items. I couldn't bear the condescending looks from the cashier! You know, it may seem strange, but my wife and I are trying to conceive a child. So I had to get a test. And if we “fail” we are going to try again. But those things can’t be forced, so I had to get some cheap wine to set the mood. And I’ll be cooking dinner, of course. And that also poses a problem for me, because my wife is, well, she’s schizophrenic. There are days where she absolutely loves steak, and others where she won’t even dream of eating some poor defenseless animal.

Look, I know you probably don’t believe me. I admit, it’s a complex tale, and I’m fairly ashamed of it. That’s why I stole the items. I couldn’t bear the condescending looks from the cashier!

]]> By: Ali http://www.ismmania.com/goofisms/stop-thief/comment-page-1/#comment-133 Ali Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:10:22 +0000 http://www.ismmania.com/?p=103#comment-133 Well, when my husband sees the results of this pregnancy test, he might need to get good and drunk and have a pizza. The steak is for the black eye he'll give the dude who stole my purse! Well, when my husband sees the results of this pregnancy test, he might need to get good and drunk and have a pizza. The steak is for the black eye he’ll give the dude who stole my purse!

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