After yet another meal in a restaurant is ruined by practically non-existent service, you snap, kidnap the waitress, and give her a healthy dose of sodium pentothal (truth serum). Then you demand that she tell you the real story: Why is service in good restaurants so notoriously bad? Is it an unconscious response to volcanoes erupting in the South Pacific? A ruthless plot against the hungry public? …Or something even more sinister?? What does she say?

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