Our ism of the day, asynchronism, reminds me of my youth.

During my leisurely undergraduate career, I briefly had a job finishing numbered and signed reproductions of cutesy bronze sculptures for a local artist. Your mother-in-law may well have one in her display case.

Back then, I was one of those fellows who thought college was important only for the sake of growing long hair, riding a motorcycle and having all-too-occasional dates with smart hippie girls in sun dresses. Arriving on time to class or work was a pleasant diversion, but not a necessity by any means.

My supervisor at the artist’s studio - I believe his name was Russ - shared with me that he considered my timing asynchronous with the time expectations of our employer. Alas, I didn’t fully comprehend the significance of our meeting, and Russ didn’t enjoy conversations of asynchronous origins, and so we soon agreed to part ways.

My little parable (the lesson - in case you didn’t catch it - is don’t be late when your supervisor is unfavorably attuned to asynchronous behavior) is actually a fine example of asynchronism as defined by m-w.com:

Main Entry: asyn·chro·ny
Pronunciation: -kr&-nE
Variant(s): or asyn·chro·nism /-kr&-”ni-z&m/
Function: noun
: the quality or state of being asynchronous : absence or lack of concurrence in time

There are, of course, many examples of asynchronisms in our world today beyond my largely uncelebrated early work experiences.

The most famous, I believe, is the villainously-off timing caused by Global Warming. Consider: warm weather comes too early in the spring, so early flowers and budding trees are killed by normal late-season frosts. This asynchronism is the bane of commercial and back-yard gardeners alike.

But asynchronisms can also be found purposefully placed in jazz and world music; in the confounding world of financial trading; and in the deliriously-skewed timing of concurrent traffic lights in my fair city.

My favorite asynchronism is often found in the tried and true romantic comedy genre of film. Men and women are well-known for having internal clocks that routinely butt heads in relationships, causing a sweet and funny (when it ain’t you) cacophony of bangs and crashes.

I suppose where I’M’ going with this post is to point out that we need asynchronism in our lives. Without asynchronisms, everything would be dreadfully dull.

Everyone would get raises of 3% on November 1 of each year.

Couples would marry at 28, have their first child at 30, their 2nd at 33, divorce at 45, remarry at 50, and the husband would pass away at 77 1/2, leaving his first wife to dance unsteadily on his grave, and his 2nd wife to spend his children’s woeful inheritance.

In short, we need the occasional shocker to remind us that we’re alive, and should be taking advantage of both the good and bad timing that comes with the human territory.