Environmentalism, or Environmental– schism?
The Earth: A living planet
Mother Earth is worried.
The small minority of Her children who care deeply about Her are warring. The noble plans of one group vie with the dreams and visions of another. It is no longer us against them, rather, it has become us against us. Schism arises.
This makes Mother Earth sad.
She is sad because this one precious opportunity to act decisively on Her behalf is passing by. The chance will be missed because of petty sibling rivalry. Can you hear Her weeping?
“From the brink of enlightenment to the brink of extinction.” – Mother Earth, as told to Swami Gupta Ravashani [translated from the original Hindi]
We need to heal the rift, return to our roots, and get back to thinking and acting locally.
Act HERE, act NOW.
The battle of the slogans continues: We can’t drill our way out of this. Verses- Drill here, drill now; screw the grandkids. And, Carbon kills. Fights- Carbon, It’s what’s for dinner.
Madness.
“Do stuff. Tell others.” – Mother Earth, as told to Mary Petals, from her book, Petals Unfolding, Harper Collins, 2002.
“Spirituality is the difference between Earth and mere dirt.”- Mohandas Gandhi [translated from the original British]
Practical Steps You Can Take
Calculate
Your Life Print
|
Simply total your body mass index from birth (zero) to death and multiply it by daily intake (MI) after subtracting daily excretions and then dividing that by your average carbon footprint. This will give you an average Life Print- your overall debt to Mother Earth. Add 10% for assumed carbon cost of living increases, unless you are over 53.6 years (56 years, 219 days- GMT) or if you have a terminal illness.
|
S0D
(BMI)
X
{[MI
– ME]/CFavg}
@ LP |
Conserve, Reuse, Recycle Your TP!
Toilet Tissue- reuse, recycle,
rejoice! A resource Guide
Diagram courtesy Jennifer Beal from her book, No More Waste. Used with permission.
How to reduce your LP
Just reducing the factors in the LP formula can radically lower your overall Life Print.
-
Reduce your food consumption
-
Increase your excretions
-
Shrink your carbon footprint
-
Lower your BMI (weight loss
or amputation)
-
Die sooner
*******************************************
Remember!
SEX
CAN MAKE BABIES!!!
More resources to heal the schism:
-
Raising Insects for Food-
Michael Robinson’s cutting edge work that combines a thorough knowledge of entymology with a genuine desire to live off the Big Corporate Agriculture grid.
-
No More Waste-
Jennifer Beal gives useful methods for unique recycling projects, includes the now famous chapter on how to recover thread from old clothing and a new chapter in the second edition on mud sculpting.
-
Life Reeks-
Mineral supplements and common nutrients found in soil. Return to a time when dirt was an essential ingredient in meal preparation.
-
Found Meat-
Jason Brooks discusses how road-kill and other ‘found meats’ can bridge the morality gap between vegans and carnivores.
-
Air Me Up!-
The latest book from Swami Gupta Ravashani that leads you step by step through hydroponic algae cultivation for recycling your own exhalations in the home. Comes with free dream-catcher that
incorporates the Swami’s own hair.
-
Recycle Yourself-
This controversial book advocates total body donation and the morality of permissive cannibalism. Excellent historical resource for those interested in the Donner Party and other extreme survival situations. Includes the section: Kuru, Causes and Cures.
-
One World, One Race-
Somewhat dated but still an excellent read, Marsha Montgomery tells her true biographical adventures in her quest to breed with every racial group on the planet. Enjoy her exploits with the Inuit, Mongolian, and Pygmy peoples as well as a dozen others. Hilarity ensues when Marsha attempts to explain her mission and intent without knowing a word of the native tongue. Marsha is missed by all in the environmental community.
Material in this page written and conceived by William Morrison, freelance writer for hire.
After going over all of your figures with a fine-tooth comb, you still can’t understand how you are somehow “losing” over 2,000 dollars per month. You know you sleepwalk, so in desperation you visit a hypnotherapist to see if he can help you figure it out. When you wake up, the therapist nervously plays a tape of you “recalling” something about enjoying snorting bad blow off the backsides of dead hookers…Several times. Eeep!
The hypnotherapist is looking at you like you’ve eaten a live slug and insisted it was delicious. One hand is on his phone and the other is agitatedly opening and closing a small drawer in his desk.
What happens next?
There’s a cotton shortage, and everyone is scrambling to conserve. While most people have decided to forego cotton fabrics in favor of rayon, you think the answer lies in a nationwide rationing of tampons. The Senate Subcommittee on Cotton Conservation is skeptical, but has given you three minutes to present your case. What do you say to them?
You are an Environmental Protection Agency statistician who is asked by the U.S. Congress to justify your obscure research program. Unfortunately, the only significant discovery you’ve made is a positive cause-and-effeect correlation that proves a recent wave of scandals involving multiple members of Congress directly caused the loss of another billion tons of the polar ice cap, and the extinction of a rare and very cute genus of penguins. The grants for your salary are up for review by the very people who are involved in these scandals, and they’re a bit touchy about the subject of scandals. What do you tell them in this report that is supposed to justify your research?
After years of effort, Texas has finally gained independence and become a country in its own right. You’ve been appointed the first U.S. ambassador to the new nation of Texas. Write a report to the Secretary of State telling her what Texas is like now. Who is their leader? Are the Texans peaceful or warlike? Should we enter into a trade agreement with them? What’s silly and what’s scary? It’s all up to you!
You are working at a bed and breakfast. One morning everything seems to be going to hell in a hand basket. The highest paying customer has just demanded breakfast in bed–immediately! The famous politician in the haunted room claims to have had sex with a ghost the night before and wants you to come photograph the bed sheets as evidence before they dry off. The journalist whose review could make or break your little B&B is complaining because he wants an unabridged Roset’s Thesaurus in his room. To top it all off, the cook has gone home with a toothache, the owner’s dog just peed on the floor of the entry way, and that priceless vase your owner likes to brag about is probably worth a lot less since your cats just smashed it in a spirited game of hide and seek. How do you make this entire mess come out right?
You overhear someone you thought was a friend talking serious trash about you behind your back, telling your entire office that you sleep with anything with a heartbeat and have the nastiest toilet this side of Big Joe’s Booze, Pool and Mud Rastlin. Obviously, revenge is the only option. How do you get back at her?
Every year, two towns have a feud about the first signs of spring. One town relies on the first sounds of spring peepers. The other town relies upon whether or not a groundhog sees his shadow. Explain which town is right, and what Al Gore would say to support the winning argument.
You wake up on a beautiful Saturday morning to find your partner glaring down at you and brandishing a “honey do” list. You’ve run out of excuses for postponing all your home improvement projects…unless you can convince your sweetie that the outcome of your efforts will be dire. Pick a home improvement project and explain why completing it would be a terrible idea. Walls collapsing from the weight of a new roof? Tetanus from a nailed thumb? The end of life as we know it from who knows what? Be as convincing as you can. Your lazy Saturday depends on it.
The publishing world is facing a crisis: a worldwide ink shortage caused by the overuse of commas in newspapers and periodicals. It’s up to you to educate the public about this tragic situation and propose a comma-elimination solution. Write an article telling your readers how to conserve as much ink as possible. Use the word “footstool” at least three times and remember–no commas!
